When
the curtains open, our black-haired, violet-eyed host is already sitting in a
chair leaned back with his arms folded. With what seems to be a great effort,
he smiles out to the audience, and gets straight to the point. “Welcome back to
Interview Saturday, after a brief hiatus,” he begins. “I’m your host, Fortune
Treston, and our latest interviewee is Iris Clearwater, who can be found
blogging about her adventures at on her blog here hosted by Kimberly Kay.”
Iris Clearwater was born with super powers. Or rather, super LAME
powers. Let's be honest, how useful is it to have it rain every time you blink?
That's right. Every. Time. To compensate for her obnoxious powers, Iris spends
a lot of her time alone in her basement, hacking--I mean, surfing the
internet--and looking up information on supers who actually have useful powers.
She may or may not actively stalk attractive hunk, Sonic Boom (she's the
president of his fan club). With his sparkly gold cape, and matching smile, she
knows it’s a love meant to be. If she could just find out his secret identity
and arrange a happenstance meeting, that is.
Said happenstance meeting unexpectedly occurs when Iris and Sonic
are kidnapped by Evil Evil (the most redundant of the super villains). It's the
first step in a journey that will not only give Iris a chance to meet her idol,
but take her down an unexpected path lined with villains much less redundant,
and much more evil than Evil Evil.
Fortune
motions Iris out from behind the curtains, observing the girl only a little
younger than him, and folds his hands. Iris skips
across the stage. When she’s seated, he hops straight to it. “It’s
a pleasure to meet you, Iris--"
"Pleasure's all mine! It's fantastic to get out and
about!" She peers eagerly around the room with bright, hazel eyes, not in
the least disappointed that she can't see past the bright lights to the
audience presumably sitting somewhere out there. She folds her hands on her lap
and turns attentively back to Fortune.
Fortune
raises an eyebrow at the interruption and clears his throat. "So you’ve
had these superpowers since birth?”
She snorts. "If you can call them 'powers', then sure, yeah. I
mean, it was different when I was small. It would always be kind of misty
around me when I was a baby--it was only as I got older that my powers actually
condensed enough to fall as rain. As if that makes any sense, right?"
“It’s
my own morbid curiosity that leads me to inquire as to whether the duration of
your blinks determines the intensity of the resulting rain. The longer the
blink, the more rain?”
"Sounds about right." Ruffling her long brown hair, Iris
leans back. "I'd show you, but since we're indoors, that won't work too
well. But yes, basically, the faster I blink, the more rain. The harder I
blink, the bigger the drops. Still haven't found much of a use for
it--regardless of my slight ability to control it. I can't make it stop, though
I hear rumor that when I sleep there's nothing. That would be useful if I were,
you know, actually awake to enjoy it."
Fortune
gives a slow nod, restraining a comment about how irritating something like
that would be. “I see. Hm.” He shifts to cross his legs. He begins, “This Sonic
Boom. How do all of the gifted people in your world find each other? Is it a
secret society, a school dedicated to all of you? How does it work? In the case
of the latter, do villains attend?”
Mimicking Fortune, Iris also crosses her legs. "I don't know
how it is around the country. For me personally, I never attended a super
school or anything like that--though some of my online friends like Issac say such schools do, indeed, exist. For me
personally, it took a while to realize I even had powers, and when I realized
they were quite useless, I didn't bother with the school track. Heroes like
Sonic--" Her eyes go misty at his mere mention, "Might have training.
From what I've been able to dig up about him though, Sonic came out of nowhere.
After learning about super schools from Issac, I hacked--er, googled--some of
the school records. Never came across Sonic's name. I think he must have been
self taught. As for the villains, I assume they go to school, you know, before
they decide to turn evil."
“Surely
you’re going to have a secret identity,” Fortune declares. “The aliases Sonic
Boom, Evil Evil… What are you going to choose for yourself?” He delivers a
small smile. Seeing where this is going, Iris
rolls her eyes. “No matter how ‘lame’ your superpower may appear,
its worth will reveal itself in the future. I’m certain of it.” He pauses. “Do
you choose the names yourself, or does someone else choose for you?”
"I can't say anything about my powers revealing their use in
the future. I mean, sure there was that one time I was able to save Sonic and
me with them, but that was more of a happenstance than anything else. My powers
haven't grown much since I stopped growing. As for the hero names, according to
one Mirabel Watson, whose articles can be found on my own blog and my friend Ruby's, the
supers tend to acquire names due to their looks or powers or what have you.
That explains why they're generally generic, and, I'll be honest, uncreative.
Sonic Boom, though I love his name, has fallen prey to this sort of thing--I
mean, the guy's power is to fly so fast he creates Sonic Booms! So I suppose
the name just kind of sticks. As for the villains, I know when they make their
first appearance, they usually announce themselves and declare names and all
that. Evil Evil--not sure what his deal was, but I think he was trying to come
up with a creative way to explain just how evil his evil is. And, I mean,
what's more evil, then evil that is evil--if that makes any sense.
"As for myself, I'm not sure what name the public would give
me. The Raindrop Rebel? Stormy Eyes? Uh... I have no idea. I know my name,
"Iris" is derived from the goddess of rain and rainbows or something,
so maybe someone would throw something cliche about that in there. I actually
haven't planned a name for myself just yet--though I should! As I plan to be
helping Sonic more in the future, a fake name will be necessary."
"I
think it would be nice to do something with your name," Fortune comments
offhandedly. “Where did you learn to ‘surf’ the internet?” he then inquires,
making quotes with his fingers. “Something self-taught, or an outside
influence? Are one of your parents skilled with technology?
Iris blushes. "Well when you spend as much time indoors as I
do, you find ways to... entertain yourself. I like staying informed. You could
say it was pretty much self taught--after a few online courses in computer
programming, and some help from google it was mostly guess work. As for my
parents." She uncrosses her legs, her shoulders hunching slightly.
"My dad was brilliant with computers and things. But I don't really see
them much anymore so... Yeah."
“Do they have powers as well?” He frowns
in a hint of concern.
"No."
“What
sort of a work ethic do you have?” Fortune asks, either unaware or ignoring his
creator’s glare for getting too formal. “Do you do well in school? Badly? Do you
like to have things done on time, or procrastinate?”
Iris snorts. "My grades are marvelous as long as I remember to
turn my homework in on time. It's not that school is hard, just sort of a
waste. Nothing seems applicable to the girl who will always be working out of
her basement, you know? Not even flipping burgers works for me, as I doubt any
business would appreciate the constant rain I drag with me."
For
once, he chuckles softly. “I would imagine not. What is your dream superpower,
then?”
Her eyes brighten and she sits up straight. "I think flying
would be glorious, but all of the supers can do that, and I'd want something
unique! Invisibility would be freakishly awesome. I know a lot of people don't
like it, because they're afraid of what they'd overhear behind their back and
stuff, but I have like, zippo friends to spy on, and hacking--er, surfing the
internet--is about the same thing as being invisible, so it'd like being me
without being stuck in one place. I'd make the best spy in the world! Think of
all the stuff I could learn!"
Seeming
a bit loathe to ask this question, though he can feel his creator’s eyes
burning into his neck, Fortune sighs. He then asks, “What makes Sonic Boom so
charming that you decided to become President of his fan club?” He then
proceeds to wonder, What does it matter?
"Sonic Boom?" With a huge breathy sigh that leaves Iris
once again misty eyed, she says, "How could anyone NOT want to follow him?
I mean, the whole "President of his fan club" thing is sort of a self
appointed job title--hey! No one else had claimed it yet!" She drops her
chin into her hand and offers an insipid smile. "I guess the best thing
about Sonic is that he's not in any of this for the glory. He legitimately cares
about people. I mean, if you've seen him on the news, he's always there to save
the day, and then gone again before the press can contact him. He's adorably
shy!"
Finally,
a small smile from our host. His favorite part of an interview: general
questions. “Iris, it must get stressful with the constant rain. How do you
alleviate stress?”
Rolling her eyes, she leans back on two legs of her chair.
"Oh, the usual. Ice cream. Chocolate. Hiding in my basement for a hundred
years and living through cyber space."
“Barring
your superpower, what would you say are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?
It can range anything from dexterity to sloppy handwriting.”
She flashes a smile. "Well, I know I've got a knack for
learning information most people can't get a hold of. I think that's a
strength, but some people consider it obnoxious--so perhaps a weakness. Those
are the same people that tell me I suck in all social situations, but hey,
that's what happens when you live under a rock."
“Being
obnoxious is a strength and a weakness both," he responds. "Depends
on how you use it. Final question,” Fortune declares, leaning forward in his
seat. Noting the seriousness of the moment, Iris falls
back to all fours and leans forward as well. “As per the interview
guidelines… Where do you see yourself in five years?”
Iris blushes. "Well, I'd like to imagine that by that time I'd
have graduated from my online school, and have found someone to settle down
with. Someone who can see between the raindrops, and stay by my side--no matter
how obnoxious I may or may not be, with or without powers." She looks at
her toes, then back up to Fortune and flashes a smile. To lighten the mood, she
jokes, "That, and perhaps I'll be the CEO of Sonic Boom's fan club."
"Perhaps
so. I wish you the best of luck." Fortune rises from his seat and steps
over to Iris, holding out a hand for hers and smiling at her. “That’s all our
time for today,” he says as she stands. “Thanks
so much for joining us, and thank you,” he directs to the audience. “Again, you
can all visit Iris at her blog here. Meanwhile, I’ll be taking Miss
Clearwater out to lunch.” He thinks ruefully, With my own money, as my
creator won’t lend me any.
Iris bounces on her heals. "I know this fantastic little
Chinese place--or at least, I order take out from there all the time. We could
even get you a FORTUNE cookie!" She laughs at her own lame joke.
Fortune
forces out a laugh for her sake, as though he's never heard that one before;
though his creator is cackling uncontrollably offstage. “Thank you again, Iris.
See you all next time!” Perhaps hoping he won’t, Fortune doesn’t look at the
audience again as he leads Iris offstage, taking his (plump) wallet out with
his free hand.
