Thursday, November 21, 2013

Withdrawal from the Writer's High

It’s become a vicious cycle.

I open my writing program and manage to spit a few words out. But then I start thinking: Oh, no. I have two psychology packets due Thursday. I have a biology test on Friday. I have a composition paper to edit by Wednesday. I have a speech Monday. I have to work tomorrow and I’m going to get started writing tonight and want to write tomorrow but won’t be able to because it’ll be busy.

I cannot find the time. When I do, the stress overwhelms me and I short-circuit, finding my way to YouTube and laughing at videos for the next few hours. I’m shocked I’m even forcing myself to write this.

Thing is, when I go a long time without writing, I start to experience withdrawal. When I write, I feel like I’m dreaming while I’m awake. A movie is playing out in my head for what I’m writing. It’s the greatest feeling I know. I begin to daydream simply about the feeling rather than the writing itself. I found myself doing it during my drive to school this morning.

I want to feel it again, but I can’t. It’s terrible. I don’t have the time. I miss my heart pounding as I write out an argument or a fight scene, the smile as I write a happy scene or a humorous scene.

It’s been a year since I truly felt like that. God, I miss it. Maybe for Thanksgiving break and Christmas break I can feel it again. It’s depressing me, truly. I love my classes, I love making money at work and being productive in those aspects. But making no writing progress is depressing. I would write in the little bitty frames of time I have, but that’s not really fair to the characters since the writing is shotty.

Anyway, I just wanted to spit out my depression regarding the writing, since I haven’t posted here since August. I want to get back to blogging sometime too. I meant to participate in NaNo, but I barely got 2,000 words. Man.

Lol. Enough! Okay. I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, and if I don’t post again by then, have a Merry Christmas! I’ll surely post by the New Year. Until next time! Hopefully I have some words by then!


  1. I know the feeling! Both of them: The high while writing, and the low while not. This November has been the first time I've really written any new novel material in WAY too long, and it was glorious, and I super-duper hope I don't wait so long to do it again. Busyness is writer's bane. XPP

    Super-duper hoping you get some quality writing time in soon, as well, my dear. Happy whatever holidays pass between this post and the next!

    ~ Danielle

  2. Thanks so much, Danielle! <333 I was so shocked to see how fast you managed to write for NaNo! JEEZ! I hope I get some writing in like that soon, that'd be awesome. I finally got around to posting reviews for Stone Kingdom on other websites, by the way! Thanks again, and Happy Holidays! :D

    1. uuuuuuugh it didn't go as a reply. DAMN YOU, BLOGGER!!

  3. I know this is an old post, but I just wanted to saw how relevant this post is to me right now. It's so hard to balance life and writing.

    1. God, I didn't even do my end-of-the-year post I always do! This is awful. I've never had a hiatus this long. I hope that you're able to get some writing in soon, my friend! I'm doing a little better, but motivation to get my blog going again hasn't arrived yet. ): Darn school and work!