Withdrawal from the Writer's High

It’s become a vicious cycle.

I open my writing program and manage to spit a few words out. But then I start thinking: Oh, no. I have two psychology packets due Thursday. I have a biology test on Friday. I have a composition paper to edit by Wednesday. I have a speech Monday. I have to work tomorrow and I’m going to get started writing tonight and want to write tomorrow but won’t be able to because it’ll be busy.

I cannot find the time. When I do, the stress overwhelms me and I short-circuit, finding my way to YouTube and laughing at videos for the next few hours. I’m shocked I’m even forcing myself to write this.

Thing is, when I go a long time without writing, I start to experience withdrawal. When I write, I feel like I’m dreaming while I’m awake. A movie is playing out in my head for what I’m writing. It’s the greatest feeling I know. I begin to daydream simply about the feeling rather than the writing itself. I found myself doing it during my drive to school this morning.

I want to feel it again, but I can’t. It’s terrible. I don’t have the time. I miss my heart pounding as I write out an argument or a fight scene, the smile as I write a happy scene or a humorous scene.

It’s been a year since I truly felt like that. God, I miss it. Maybe for Thanksgiving break and Christmas break I can feel it again. It’s depressing me, truly. I love my classes, I love making money at work and being productive in those aspects. But making no writing progress is depressing. I would write in the little bitty frames of time I have, but that’s not really fair to the characters since the writing is shotty.

Anyway, I just wanted to spit out my depression regarding the writing, since I haven’t posted here since August. I want to get back to blogging sometime too. I meant to participate in NaNo, but I barely got 2,000 words. Man.

Lol. Enough! Okay. I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving, and if I don’t post again by then, have a Merry Christmas! I’ll surely post by the New Year. Until next time! Hopefully I have some words by then!

A Break and a Rebirth

January?! That was my last post?!

Wow.

Have you missed me? Wondered where I was? Questioned if I died and fell off the face of the earth? ...Didn't care? (That's cold.) Heh. Well, anyway, hi! If you don't remember me, my name's Kendra and I run this nice little fiery blog here.

The one I abandoned for a while in January.

See, though, I've been busy. Here's a small overview of what I've done.

- Become Homecoming Queen of my school
- Prepared a valedictorian speech
- Prepared a song for my graduation on Friday
- Met one of my best friends from Ohio
- Went to prom with said friend
- Applied and was accepted to a two-year college
- Got a full ride to said college
- Won first place in two divisions of a business contest
- Went on a Senior Skip Day and almost died in a war between projectiles flying from cars
- Opened a bank account
- Went to Chicago
- Writing wise, I finally finished the initial editing process of Book 3 in my series, started the editing on Book 2 (don't ask), and wrote a novella.
- And more!
Future events?
- Wednesday: Class of 2013 Bachaloriette
- Friday: Class of 2013 Graduation
- 18 and 21: Dinners for being valedictorian.

I've been a busy bee, and I just kind of gave up blogging/tweeting/etc in favor of these activities. I didn't want to force myself to do it, or I knew the work would be shotty. Anyway, I'm going to try and get back into the groove of all this.

So, my break consists of doing LESS drafting of works, and MORE querying/blogging/tweeting. I should be able to keep up! I thank you all for your patience, and hopefully soon, I'll be back into book-reviewing and maybe some posting about writerly things!

To conclude, I want to share the great news of Danielle Shipley, A.K.A. Ever On Word:

SHE'S BEING PUBLISHED. TWICE! One in an anthology, and another for self-publishing. Please, go see her here and give her all of your support!! You won't have to wait long to grab these books and enjoy the heck outta them!

It occurs to me I didn't proofread this. ...Oh well. Please ignore errors.