Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Five (Sweet Sixteen) [9]

Well, yesterday was AWESOME!!

1. I wake up. - The anxiety was killer. I paced around the house, cranked my iPod up, and tried to calm the hell down before my driver's test. Downstairs there were banners all over the house marking my new age, and my mom teased, "How old are you, again?" We left for the driver's ed place and I was allowed to crank up my own music in the car stereo to calm down. Once we got there we ended up waiting for fifteen minutes to straighten some things out before I went to take the test.

2. And...I passed! - In general, the test was nothing to worry about! I only did some stuff that she warned me about, but otherwise I did it! TAKE THAT, DRIVER'S ED TEACHER. Yeah, he didn't have much confidence for me. xD We went back and took my picture, got my new card, and I texted my friend: "I ran a stop sign. I left a black mark. Then I caused a pileup on the square." She texted back, "OMG YOU FREAKED OUT!" I had to tell her two texts later that I was kidding. (:

3. Gifts and Books and Awesomeness Car - I took a nap and came downstairs to open my gifts. Of course there were books, thank God! I got WITHER by Lauren DeStefano, TORMENT by Lauren Kate, and I AM THE MESSENGER by Markus Zusak. Audrey [holes In My brain] helped me decide which to read next, so Markus Zusak's epic writing skills are sure to amaze me once again. X3 The final present was in a jewelry box. Puzzled, I opened it, and saw an old set of car keys. I now own a silver 2001 Pontiac Sunfire!!!!!!!!!!! [yes, the exclamation points are necessary!]

4. International Buddies - Two of my friends sent me their presents for my birthday. From one I received a gemsbok jaw with a feather stringed into it, foxes painted on the side, and a fox tooth glued on. I'm in love with it, despite how strange it might seem! From my other one—she really surprised me! From her I received a book about dreams, because I talk about them all the time! I also received some chocolate espresso beans [I don't like coffee so much, these are so much better (; ] and a $15 iTunes gift card. Very awesome!

 5. Song of the Week - Fighting Fate by Masashi Hamauzu

This song is one of the strangest I listen to, but I love it. Also, I'm going to attempt to learn it for piano. ...Oh boy. LOL! It's also known as a boss battle in one of my own books... (;

Later~! Oh btw, did you know I'm sixteen now? Naaah, course not X3


Reading: The Iron Queen - Julie Kagawa
Watching: The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Listening to: Will to Fight - Masashi Hamauzu
Quote: "This is a short book because most books about writing are filled with bullshit." — Stephen King's On Writing

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Ugliness of Madness

I remembered that I was going to post something from my writing class last month, so I picked out my favorite one. (: This is about the antagonist of the Flame Cycle my blog is so wonderfully named after~ I hope you like it! We were supposed to write it in poetic prose, but...I didn't really do that. XD

The Ugliness of Madness by Kendra Conine

Hail the one who does not even know himself. He throws fits, rages to the heavens, and cries for help. He who does not know his own name, so dehumanized by the events of his life.

Loss eminent in his mind, loss so full it drove him to madness. The madness of forgetfulness. Starting a new life is hard, harder so when you do not know how to repent for something you’ve forgotten; but then why fear the new beginning?

The new beginning should still hold mistakes, even wherein that forgetfulness gives no gaps of error. Live in life to its fullest, no matter the madness. You can fight it you wish, but all die; so do not worry and take what you can.

Fear the people who remember, for it is they who may use their past to use the forgetful. The forgetful may be mad, but they have right and wrong undecided and have a chance to once again establish it. Madness is not mad.

Madness is a new perspective, a perspective that can drive one to extremes that will influence one and all that can give you a new route into life. Your influence stretches far and wide, even if you do not remember.

Do not remember, but hold your madness close and beware the ones who do remember, for even they can become mad.


Be aware I don't hand my last name out eagerly. xD I did because I want it to be known the work is mine. © Kendra Conine. It wouldn't stop anyone from getting it if they wanted it, but hopefully people will understand how important this is to me and leave it alone. So...g'night, folks!

***The very last line is foreshadowing! TEEHEE***

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Friday Five (Goodbye, Harry Potter!) [8]

1. Farewell, Harry Potter - These books helped everyone through tough times in their childhood, adulthood, and simply through those long school days of boredom. They're the kind of books that awaken the desire in you to become something great, to want to know there is more to the world than something mundane...and maybe magic isn't real. Maybe Hogwarts doesn't exist, and maybe Harry Potter didn't save all of humanity from Lord Voldemort. That doesn't mean that in our hearts, it's not there. It's not a figment of our imagination, it is an icon of our lives. The books are the magic.

"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome us home." — J.K. Rowling

2. Eep. I'm really behind again. - I planned to do two chapters a day for the next week or so, which was my first mistake. I always procrastinate. Always. Always. So I'm on Chapter 16/25 with 60,097 words on Draft 5. xD I wanted to be finished by the 28th, my birthday.

3. Farewell, Borders - ._. and every single one of my links to a bookstore that's at least somewhat close by. Now I'm going to have to drive like forty miles to get to a bookstore in a town that I despise. UGH. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Even though I don't even have a goddamn clue as to why Borders is closing in the first place. What, bought out by Nook? I'm serious, all of reading-kind is humiliated by the Kindles. Sorry to those who like them. ):

4. Birthday Wish: More Followers - ): I suck at promoting.

5. Song of the Week - Lily's Theme by Alexandre Desplat

The minute I heard this song start playing in the theaters, I leaned over to my mom and whispered, "I'm buying the soundtrack the minute we get home." It played in quite a few places, and I cried. xD I cried three times altogether in this movie. Sad, or heartfelt? Latter. (:
Cry 1: Putting the wards around Hogwarts.
Cry 2: [[[SPOILER]]]Snape's Demise[[[SPOILER]]]
Cry 3: When Harry is walking through the Great Hall, looking at everyone who has fallen.

Anyway, I'll see you all soon (: Later!


Listening to: Sulyya Springs - Masashi Hamauzu
Reading: Iron Queen by Julie Kagawa, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, Chasing Fire by Nora Roberts
Watching: -
Quote: "Of course it is in your head! But why should that mean it isn't real?" - Albus Dumbledore

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Little Encouragement For You!

I recently found an old book of mine that I like looking through once in a while: A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein. I read all of the poems in it when I was younger but didn't really understand them; now that I do they're like an entire other meaning. They're not just pretty little poems, a lot of them have meaning.

I found one that I really wanted to share, and it made me feel really good about what I do by writing and creating other worlds for people to look into. So, I've decided two things. I'll write down this poem today, and then every other Sunday, I'm going to have a "Silverstein Sunday" and post a poem by him that I really like. I hope you like this one as much as I do!

"This bridge will only take you halfway there

To those mysterious lands you long to see:

Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fairs

And moonlit woods where unicorns run free.

So come and walk awhile with me and share

The twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known.

But this bridge will only take you halfway there—

The last few steps you'll have to take alone."

Saturday, July 16, 2011

17 Years...To the Day

I am fifteen years old. I was born in 1995.
My sister would be twenty, had it not been for the events of July 16th, 1994.

It's amazing how time can turn on you, throw a dagger at you when you're least expecting it, and tear your love to shreds and morphing it into an imperfect statue of grief. An abstract painting of crimson love, blue grief, yellow sorrow. I may never have known my sister, but I know what she means to my parents, who mourn this day with every fiber of their beings. The older I get, the more I realize how special I am to them.

It's been seventeen years for them. I'm never sure how to react on this day. I feel a little hole in my chest, one that pangs with the pain I see my parents endure. My own pain? I wouldn't say it's a pain that I have...I'm not sure what I would call it. Not even writing can describe some feelings. My chest feels compressed, and I feel drained. I feel like I'm waiting for something, but for what? This is what I feel on this day.


Music pounded from the computer room where Dad played music on the stereo, music from his day and music that my mother and he both loved. Guns n' Roses, Journey, Meatloaf...but mainly Guns n' Roses for the moment. Mom fixed dinner, humming along with the lyrics, while I sat at the table listening to my own music. I'm not a fan of theirs. Mom looked up when the music stopped suddenly.

"You're about to get really mad at me," Dad called.

"What did you do? Find Shine?" Mom asked. She didn't get a reply. I paid it to mind.

About a minute later I heard a piano arpeggio in minor, and Mom grew stiff where she was standing. A long melody, full of happiness and sadness and wonder filtered the rooms in the house. Mom raced into the living room, taking me by surprise.

"Turn that off! Turn it off. That will not play in this house while I'm home!"

She waited, and the music stopped. Choked up, she muttered, "Thank you," and walked back into the kitchen. She kept her back to me. I stood up and went to stand beside her.

"Mom? What was that song? What was wrong with it?"

"N-November Rain." She hesitated. Then she whispered, "It was her song."


Needless to say, curiosity about the music my sister liked made me go grab my laptop and look the song up. I've never cared for the singer of Guns n' Roses, but this song...not even the fact it was my sister's song, just the song itself, brought tears to my eyes. The lyrics are beautiful, the song is so well-played. That explains Song of the Week.

It was one of those songs that strikes a chord in your soul and lifts your heart up.

I doubt they would approve of me sharing these moments with the public, but I think some people fail to realize how much it hurts a family. They certainly don't see how much it affects me. When people ask me, "Do you have brothers or sisters?" I reply, "Sort of." They give me a funny look, and when I explain, they get all awkward and say, "Sorry." Why are you sorry?

No one should be sorry. No one should be guilty. It was just a big, dumb accident.

She's somewhere up there watching over everyone. Sorry for any atheists that read this, but this is my firm belief and I'll stick to it. Maybe I never knew her, but I know something we would have had in common: we both knew nothing lasts forever, not even November Rain...


Listening to: November Rain - Guns n' Roses
Watching: -
Reading: Iron Queen by Julie Kagawa, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, Chasing Fire by Nora Roberts
Quote: -

Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday Five (Tough Week) [7]

1. iTunes Mishap...? - I recently downloaded a number of updates hosted by iTunes. I had no idea it would revamp everything, give me a sidebar I didn't want, and return the four hundred songs I've deleted over the past two years. :/ Needless to say, I spent an hour or so cleaning up all of that. Of those extra... actually, it gave me six hundred songs. But of those six hundred, I kept eight old songs. Eight. Yep... x3

2. Driver's Test Coming Up. Oh dear. - That...says it all. My birthday is on the twenty-eighth, I suck at driving, I have no car...what's someone to do? I asked a friend to show me what route they took for their driving test but they haven't gotten back to me yet. ...Hrrrrm. I gave this same friend a few chapters of a book I'm working on a while back, but she hasn't gotten back to me on that either. >.> Oh well.

3. HARRY POTTER, DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!! - [My childhood. Voldemort raised his wand at the sentimental values, a quirky smile on his face and ignoring the screams for him to wait, stop, listen... "Avada Kedavra!" he cried, and my childhood shattered.] Seriously people. It's gone. Done. Over. ...On next Friday. But it's over. Harry Potter is done. Why me? Whyyyyy...? You know how you know something's going to happen... then you wait... and you're not too concerned, because it's so far off...



4. I HAVE A QUESTION!!! - Okay. To you, WHAT DEFINES YA? What are the elements that make up YA? Is it the characters' personalities? Is it a certain act, like brutal murder or a mystery waiting to be solved? I understand this is badly asked, but it's just hard because I have people ask me this and I'm not sure how to answer, just because I'm not sure of the answer in the first place. So I thought I would see other opinions.

Note: I have this little thing about my ear ringing when my head is craned properly... so I have to have my head tilted to the side to keep my ear from ringing. Wtfisgoingon

5. Song of the Week - November Rain by Guns n' Roses

I'll explain this one tomorrow.



Listening to: Imagine - Brunch [So inspirational! If not for the events making November Rain song of the week, it would be this. I recommend, greatly!]
Watching: ---
Reading: Iron Queen - Julie Kagawa | Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte | Chasing Fire - Nora Roberts
Quote: "Don't ya think that you need somebody? Don't ya think that you need someone? Everybody needs somebody, you're not the only one; you're not the only one..." - November Rain | Guns n' Roses

Fallen by Lauren Kate | Review

Ohey lookie here.

Title: Fallen
Author: Lauren Kate
Published: December 8, 2009
Number of Pages: 452
Rating: 2.5/5

There’s something achingly familiar about Daniel Grigori.

Mysterious and aloof, he captures Luce Price’s attention from the moment she sees him on her first day at the Sword & Cross boarding school in sultry Savannah, Georgia. He’s the one bright spot in a place where cell phones are forbidden, the other students are all screw-ups, and security cameras watch every move.

Even though Daniel wants nothing to do with Luce–and goes out of his way to make that very clear–she can’t let it go. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame, she has to find out what Daniel is so desperate to keep secret . . . even if it kills her. (

"Checkmate, bitch." — Arriane

...Huh... *clears throat* So, Fallen...

I looked over a lot of reviews. A lot of them are negative. There's a few that are positive. I don't see much gray area, but that's where I am. I think I lean just a little toward the negative, but I'm enough in the positive that I kind of want to read the next books. Fallen is...a hard book to review, to say the least. I'm sitting here trying to think of how to explain it.

I do like the book. Don't get me wrong. But the characters were sort of...shallow. You never really got to see what was under the skin of any of them, besides Luce and her obsession over the boy who flipped her off, and suddenly he's the hottest guy in the school and she has to start stalking him. Through Google.

I really struggled with starting the book in the first place. I started it on the first day of my writing class, and when I started it, I finished the prologue/chapter 1whatever and had to put it down, and read it the next day. It was extremely confusing. =/ It wasn't so much after I finished the book, but...well, it was just confusing.

Luce: I liked her character. She seemed pretty cool. I was sympathetic with the incident of the fire, sympathetic she was being sent to this reform school (her parents suck. Sorry. Maybe it's just the fact I have parents who wouldn't put me through that). But in the end her character gets sort of whiny.

Arriane: My favorite. The peppy, kickass one who isn't afraid to make her opinion known. I was disappointed when she had her place taken by Penn after the first few chapters. Her, an angel? I liked that. Unfortunately, you don't find out much else. xD Speaking of Penn...

Penn: Another favorite, but not as much as Arriane. The events concerning her at the end of the book did sadden me. A lot. And sort of pissed me off. But there's not much else I can say. You never find out much more. You get the idea she's sort of a nerd, or at least that's what I got; and that's all.

Cam: More confusing than any of them, aside from Daniel. I'm not sure I cared for Cam's character that much, just because he was so damn predictable. Not as much as Daniel, but he's basically Jacob from Twilight. I'm sorry for comparing it to Twilight, but seriously. He's bitter at not being able to have Luce and that's that. He's gonna have it out for Daniel. BY THE WAY, Luce chooses Daniel over Cam. I mean, it's expected, BUT REALLY? He shows nothing but respect for her and is nice to her, while Daniel treats her like crap. REALLY?! The most INFURIATING thing about this book!

Daniel: ...I'm neutral. I'm sort of annoyed that Luce chooses him, of course, even though all he does is insult her and make her feel stupid and flip her off. Masochist much? I like Daniel's character, though. He's intriguing and mysterious, as any good paranormal romance love interest should be. But he's just so rude. And...why do I care how well he jump-ropes again...?

Are there any other characters I forgot? If so, oh well. That' memorable this book was. Not so much. It's just a repeat of a lot of other books, the more I think about it. Don't get me wrong: I enjoyed this book. When I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. The final battle had me excited...

Then you don't even get to see it. And you're trapped with an evil librarian. I did set the book down then and didn't pick it up for another hour or two, sadly.

One thing I will note is that, this librarian starts speaking another language at one point, and the way the author describes her is that she's spinning in circles or something...I'm not even sure right now. But it's something like that, and whenever I think of this book, that's all I can imagine now. A lady speaking in a foreign language, spinning in circles and flapping her arms around.

So, in general, I enjoyed Fallen. But I didn't love it. I enjoyed it enough that I'm going to grab the next few books, but I'm afraid it might end up the way The Immortals by Alyson Noel did for me. (In other words, I'll eventually hate it.) So, please don't disappoint me, Lauren Kate! (: >

I think I'm gonna end this review here...there's not much else to say about the book. Oh hey check that out, I actually posted something other than a Friday Five. HOLY CRAP.


Reading: The Iron Queen - Julie Kagawa | Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Watching: ...Nada.
Listening to: Colors - Flow

Watch out for a post on Saturday, please! DFTBA
Quote: "For better or worse, you're stuck with me now." — Ash | The Iron Queen | Julie Kagawa

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Friday Five (THE IRON KNIGHT! OMG!) [6]


1. THE IRON KNIGGGGGGHT! - Obviously I'm very spazzy about this. Why? Have you seen the book cover? Holy CRAP! GO LOOK​e/photos/22600000/The-Iron-Kni​ght-cover-1-the-iron-fey-serie​s-22604587  AAAAH. Okay, I'll turn off caps lock now. But, I love the Iron Fey series. Julie Kagawa pitched her way up to one of my favorite authors only a little after I started The Iron King back in February. So, this is released October 25th and she's releasing ARCs before that and I REALLY wish I could have one (I would make a really good review! D: ) but I doubt my blog is like, importantenoughlol. But oh well. I have to wait because if I say "I CAN'T WAIT OR I'LL DIE" that wouldn't work because I'd die, and I'd never get to read I'm being really stupid. I'll stop now. (:
Oh, also. Ash is yummy.
2. My Mind is a Sahara Desert - I opened EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. DOCUMENT. I own. And I looked through them to try and decide one to write in. I have not written a single word. I've tried a ton of stuff to get my creativity back up but nothing working. D: So next week I'm staying offline like, ALL WEEK long and gonna try to find something to get it back up. And hopefully I'll finish editing.
3. Can you guys help me? Pleaaase? - Book 3. 80,000 words so far [Yeah, by the time this novel is done I'm going to have like 250,000 words and gonna have to trim like 120,000 of it off lol]. Big plot twist coming up. 2 characters have this thing called "darkness" that's like the demon on their left shoulder, tempting them to do horrible things. Character 1 has had it for a year, character 2 has had it for a few days. Though character 1 has only had a few attacks throughout the book, character 2 has had nine. That's a lot by my standards. I don't know how anyone would be able to help without me giving out the context, but I was wondering if anyone could give me ideas on how to omit some of these 'darkness attacks'. It's just a really big complication and I'm not sure how to go about it.
4. Writing Contest Entry Sent! - I finished the short story and I've gotten everything together, and hopefully tomorrow I'll have it sent. I feel pretty confident, but of course there's gonna be like a million people in this contest and it's probably empty confidence that'll be crushed like a glass heart being crushed in a villain's fingers. So, we'll see. (: Results at the end of August.
5. Song of the Week - The Legend Comes to Life - Pokémon 2000: The Power of One
Yes, I know. Yes. It's Pokémon. But it's such an inspirational song, and it's so nostalgic that I can't help but love it. It's just a song I suddenly heard while skimming YouTube and I was like "Omg. iTunes. Now.", there's not much else to say about this song. (:
In other news, I'm starting another weekly thing called "Tuesday Trends" soon.
And oh hey I finished a book holy crap. Review will be up soon, probably tomorrow. (; See ya~
Reading: The Iron Daughter - Julie Kagawa; Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Watching: ...Apparently paid programming
Listening to: Devil's Fanfare - X-Ray Dog
Quote: "I threw my head back and laughed, and it turned into a ragged scream as I wrenched myself awake." —Meghan Chase | The Iron Daughter | Julie Kagawa

Friday, July 1, 2011

Friday Five[s]! (Writing Classes and Procrastination) [4&5]


Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry x10048473! Last week was busy with the class. Lots of new stuff I got really excited over! ...So those will probably be the ones from last week for this Friday Five. I'll put both of them into this one post since I forgot to last week. Again, sorry! ):

1. Strange People - One of the exercises we did made us write a diary entry from the POV of a person who had a very strange trait. It could range from ADD to something else like what mine was: a young man who has a strange habit of wanting to feel the texture of anything he comes across. Whether it be a wall or the fabric of a chair, he wants to touch it. In the diary entry he expresses his wish to touch the sky, and 21st birthday present is to go skydiving. I really enjoyed writing this one!

2. Years in a Moment - Take something normally spends only about five seconds of your life, maybe even less. Make it take pages. Memories, thoughts, musings, and predictions can take place in five seconds. Make it happen. This was a fantastic exercise for me to practice for second person.

3. Ugly and Beautiful - Make a poem about something you perceive as ugly and make it beautiful. I made a poem about both forgetfulness and madness. It's kind of based off the antagonist of my book cycle. I'll post it later, because I'm especially partial to this one. (:

4. Speaking Without Sight - We looked at an abstract painting for about five minutes, and then we were required to describe it with all of the senses except for sight. The texture? What music would play here if it was real? Does it smell ... violent, sweet, insulting? What do you hear? What is in the area? The time? I loved this one, loved it loved it loved it...

5. Song of the Week - Car Chase - Trevor Rabin | The Sorcerer's Apprentice

I love the hyper feeling of this song. It makes you feel like you're at a showdown, not exactly like a car chase; but it's just perfect for a lot of circumstances. I've been listening to this a lot since I downloaded it, until I found the new song of the week... (;


1. Slump... - So I really have written ... not much since the writing class ended. I figure it's from pumping out so much for five hours consecutively for five days a week. I'm gonna write some after I finish this post, or die trying... maybe not that dramatic. But hey. That's what I have to be.

2. Monopoly Kingdom Hearts?! - The video game Birth by Sleep is one that I dearly love, and I've been playing it a lot lately while I have this little slump. I've spent the whole time trying to get 100% completion for absolutely everything in the game, and I found this little mini-game that's basically like Monopoly. And I fell in love. (: It's really challenging and really fun. It's the most thinking I've had to do away from writing since summer started... X3

3. OMG PISTACHIOS. - My mom and I discovered pistachios. Enough said.

4. An Unbreakable Connection... - In Birth by Sleep, there are these items called Wayfinders. They're handmade stars that are supposed to be made with shells, but not in the case of this game. They're made of stained glass. They all have a different color, and a different symbol in the middle. [Picture in a second.] I was inspired the more I thought about them, so I started out by making Wayfinder Origami, but then I found clay when I went to Wal-Mart and now I'm making my own. (: If they turn out the way I want them to, I'm planning on selling a few on Facebook.

5. Song of the Week - Destiny's Union - Yoko Shimomura

The Wayfinders theme (: enough said, right?

Sorry again for the late posts. I honestly haven't finished any of my books... yeah, I know. ): HOPEFULLY they'll be done soon. I might post a picture of the Wayfinder I create when it's finished. I'll put some stuff I got from the class too sometime. I had to make a first chapter to a new novel, so I'll post the excerpt that I put into our literary magazine on here. Later! DFTBA~


Reading: ...Too many to list.
Listening to: Nada.
Watching: Nada.
Quote: "Allow me to ease upon you the crushing weight of oblivion!" - Unnamed character from my newest novel, Past in Misery